Isn't it ironic how you left me when you were the one who told me not to leave you? Isn't also ironic how you told me not to get tired of each other when you're the one who got tired of us?
We started out as complete friends, random dates and there we were... We fell in love with each other's flaws, with each other's weirdness and craziness. At first, I don't want to try the relationship I had in you but you made me feel what every girl should be treated. You made me feel like not just a princess in your life, but a queen. You made me think of negative thoughts about us, but you brush it away and told me that this is true. That this is not just a kind of "short based relationship" that for us there will be this thing called lifetime, not forever.
You said you love me, I said I love you back. What happened to all your promises? Our plans together? All the questions in my head kept on haunting me on what I did wrong. Just because we always fight? Just because you got tired of me? I still don't know how we screwed it up. I know it's just 6 months of us but for me that's already a year of knowing you, your strengths and your weaknesses. I don't know if I'll hate you for leaving me, I don't know if I'll hate you cause you lied. I don't know if I'll hate you for breaking me into millions of pieces. I don't know if you have a new girl in your life, I don't know if you cheated on me..... I don't know.
Before you broke up with me, you said you need space. So I gave you space... but how could you do that? You kept on hanging out with some girl that you used to like. Do I have the right to get jealous or not? Then came the time, that you wanted to talk about us.... I thought for sure that you're going to break up with me and so you did. You know what, it made me realize how I'm a sucker for you. A sucker who keeps on annoying the shit out of you to get back with me. I tried. You know I did but you already gave up on us.
Your mouth formed those words that you don't love me anymore because you got tired... you got tired of all our fights. You got tired of me. Why did you spend so much time on me, if you weren't going to stay? It sucks you know when you're the only one who wants to get back together that hurts so much that I can't even get out of bed and eat. Like I didn't have the motivation to spend my day at school or with some of my friends. I wanted to be alone.
But right now, I tried to fix it again. Tried to ask you one more time to get back together with me but you immediately said no. I just accepted it but I didn't want us to be called as ex-lovers so I asked if you want to be friends and it made calm myself cause you said yes. Remember when were still friends and you're not well cause you just broke up with your ex? And I offered myself a hug and we did hug for the first time. That day when you said you wanted to be just friends I offered again another hug and so we did. We started and ended with a hug.
I'm still wishing for you to come back----that I don't want to be just friends. I want US. The old US. The old thing between us. Not friends, not strangers, but lovers whose completely in love with each other.
The one waiting for you to come back,
- C
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